Dear Annie: I’d been seeing “Ralph” for more than three years. We were actually living together the last year. Ralph is 60, and I’m 55. Six months ago, he announced that he couldn’t be in the relationship any longer.
After a lot of talk and prodding on my part, the only reason I could get out of him was, “It’s not you. It’s me.” What does that mean? That’s not a reason.
Ralph said he still loves me, and I’m totally in love with him. But not wanting to stay where I wasn’t wanted, I promptly moved out. I then found out that Ralph was seeing an old girlfriend. They spent their time going out and partying.
I’ve been so lost since this happened. I don’t understand his reasoning. I’m hoping he’ll realize we had something great together and come back to me.
Everyone, including Ralph’s family, wonders what’s going on. Is this a late-in-life crisis? Am I wrong to keep hoping? — Unlucky in Love
Dear Unlucky: Ralph could be having a midlife crisis, but he also could simply want to be with someone else. We have no way to predict his future actions, but we will tell you that it is unwise to wait for him. Live your life to the fullest, which not only will keep you active and happy, but will allow you to meet new people, which is always a plus.
Dear Annie: My son and his wife went away for a weekend, and she accidentally left her wedding rings at home. When they returned, the rings were missing. Her 17-year-old brother, 20-year-old sister and the sister’s boyfriend stayed at the house to watch their dogs. We later found out that the brother had a teenage friend over, and we think he stole the rings.
My daughter-in-law’s family is a bunch of losers and thieves. Her father insists no one took the rings, and no one is doing anything about it. My daughter-in-law is a wonderful person who helps her family all the time, and this is the reward she gets. She keeps telling me she is going to file a police report, but hasn’t done it.
I am beside myself. My problem is, how do I handle an upcoming family occasion? I don’t want to start a war, but neither do I want these people in my house, and I don’t want to be around them. What do I do? — A.
Dear A.: This is your daughter-in-law’s family, and although you don’t like them, you obviously care for her. That means putting up with her family now and then. If you don’t trust them in your home, have the festivities elsewhere — in your son’s home or at a restaurant. You also can lock up the valuables. As for the missing rings, these belong to your daughter-in-law, and she gets to decide how she wants to handle the alleged theft. It’s loyal of you to be angry on her behalf, but it serves no useful purpose if it also upsets her. Please try to let it go.
Dear Annie: I read the letter from “M.,” whose siblings expected her to pay $100 for a meal when she only ate a $10 salad. I have been a waitress for years and am always surprised when people have issues with splitting the check when they did not eat or drink equally. There is absolutely no reason not to ask for separate checks when you order your meal. Even if it is the restaurant’s policy not to do so for large parties, it still can be done. Ask for the manager if your server hesitates. Our industry is in a slump, and we will do what it takes to make the customer happy. — L.J.E.
Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please email your questions to anniesmailboxcomcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 5777 W. Century Blvd., Ste. 700, Los Angeles, CA 90045. To find out more about Annie’s Mailbox and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at creators.com.
CREATORS.COM
Dear Annie: I’d been seeing “Ralph” for more than three years. We were actually living together the last year. Ralph is 60, and I’m 55. Six months ago, he announced that he couldn’t be in the relationship any longer.
After a lot of talk and prodding on my part, the only reason I could get out of him was, “It’s not you. It’s me.” What does that mean? That’s not a reason.
Ralph said he still loves me, and I’m totally in love with him. But not wanting to stay where I wasn’t wanted, I promptly moved out. I then found out that Ralph was seeing an old girlfriend. They spent their time going out and partying.
I’ve been so lost since this happened. I don’t understand his reasoning. I’m hoping he’ll realize we had something great together and come back to me.
Everyone, including Ralph’s family, wonders what’s going on. Is this a late-in-life crisis? Am I wrong to keep hoping? — Unlucky in Love
Dear Unlucky: Ralph could be having a midlife crisis, but he also could simply want to be with someone else. We have no way to predict his future actions, but we will tell you that it is unwise to wait for him. Live your life to the fullest, which not only will keep you active and happy, but will allow you to meet new people, which is always a plus.
Dear Annie: My son and his wife went away for a weekend, and she accidentally left her wedding rings at home. When they returned, the rings were missing. Her 17-year-old brother, 20-year-old sister and the sister’s boyfriend stayed at the house to watch their dogs. We later found out that the brother had a teenage friend over, and we think he stole the rings.
My daughter-in-law’s family is a bunch of losers and thieves. Her father insists no one took the rings, and no one is doing anything about it. My daughter-in-law is a wonderful person who helps her family all the time, and this is the reward she gets. She keeps telling me she is going to file a police report, but hasn’t done it.
I am beside myself. My problem is, how do I handle an upcoming family occasion? I don’t want to start a war, but neither do I want these people in my house, and I don’t want to be around them. What do I do? — A.
Dear A.: This is your daughter-in-law’s family, and although you don’t like them, you obviously care for her. That means putting up with her family now and then. If you don’t trust them in your home, have the festivities elsewhere — in your son’s home or at a restaurant. You also can lock up the valuables. As for the missing rings, these belong to your daughter-in-law, and she gets to decide how she wants to handle the alleged theft. It’s loyal of you to be angry on her behalf, but it serves no useful purpose if it also upsets her. Please try to let it go.
Dear Annie: I read the letter from “M.,” whose siblings expected her to pay $100 for a meal when she only ate a $10 salad. I have been a waitress for years and am always surprised when people have issues with splitting the check when they did not eat or drink equally. There is absolutely no reason not to ask for separate checks when you order your meal. Even if it is the restaurant’s policy not to do so for large parties, it still can be done. Ask for the manager if your server hesitates. Our industry is in a slump, and we will do what it takes to make the customer happy. — L.J.E.
Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please email your questions to anniesmailboxcomcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 5777 W. Century Blvd., Ste. 700, Los Angeles, CA 90045. To find out more about Annie’s Mailbox and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at creators.com.
CREATORS.COM